If you haven’t booked your Dorthy Chandler Pavilion tickets yet, you need to come to grips with reality!  You officially have only a few hours left until THE most memorial night the 2007!  Take advantage of a beautiful night in one of LA’s most elegant Pavilions and set the year off right before it’s too late!!  Book your New Years accomodations with Friction NOW or NEVER!

Holy Fuckin shit, it’s Thursday.  Holy Fuckin shit, NEW YEARS EVE IS ON SUNDAY.  Once again, welcome to the funtabulous world of crunch time bitches.   Here are the top 8 reasons why you should get your NYE tickets to the Dorthy Chandler Pavilion, like now:

1. Your toes will be warm and toasty in the comfort of thousands of other really hot toes
2. OPEN BAR with VIP
3. Glamorous decor, along side glamorous people
4. Wonderful city views to gaze into before you regurgitate dinner
5. No worries about battling the outside COLD and possible rain/sleet/snow (hey anything can happen)
6. Not 1, not 2, not 3, but 10 BAR Areas… and no need to fight off grandma for some bourbon
7. SURPRISE performances and guests
8. Truly exquisite and romantic grounds to set off the mood (RAR)

I haven’t heard a “Ching Chong” joke since circa 1992, and even then it was lame.  I wish fat people made a characteristic noise… so I could completely butcher it and stereotype it as “obesity babble”.  Only then will I have reached the comedic low that Rosie did on the View.  Rosie O’ Donnell is seriously the uncoolest lesbo in Hollywood, and for that she deserves to be thrown in a flaming pit with angry velociraptors of the like. 

YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuTspbPmV_g&eurl=

When you think about it, five days is a mere 120 hours.. or perhaps the amount of time in one standard working week.  AND, when you think about it even more, it’s the amount of time you have until the ball drops for two thousand fuckin seven.  Did you plan your NYE yet?  Don’t be the douche that rings in the new year with sparkling apple Martinelli in the living room of your parents house.  Be a lush.  AND be a lush with the whole crew of Friction entertainment.  We party harder, we like your girlfriend, and we don’t smell like moth balls.
When you think about it, five days is a mere 120 hours.. or perhaps the amount of time in one standard working week.  AND, when you think about it even more, it’s the amount of time you have until the ball drops for two thousand fuckin seven.  Did you plan your NYE yet?  Don’t be the douche that rings in the new year with sparkling apple Martinelli in the living room of your parents house.  Be a lush.  AND be a lush with the whole crew of Friction entertainment.  We party harder, we like your girlfriend, and we don’t smell like moth balls.

My first thought was “Wow”.  My second thought was “Wtf?”.  If you didn’t quite get the keys to the benz for Christmas, send remarks to Santa Claus here: http://www.santas.net/email.htm. Although it takes $5 and a Paypal account for some sort of bull shit response, it may be well worth it to reach “the man himself”.  And by “the man himself”, I mean the dip shit scam artist that actually plans on making money from this website.  But i guess it’s at least “FREE” to write your letter to Santa Claus.  (I thought I had to pay for that too.)

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Britney decided to hook up with what appears to be an enlarged version of one of the Gotti’s.  I’m not too sure what the deal is here, but if you are curious and/or stalker-ish check out his myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/jonathanrotem.  He seems dark and mysterious to me… the type that likes glamorized white trash, elepantitis vagina, and Dep gel by the gallons. 

Unless you plan on busting a shady DIY (do-it-yourself) xmas gift, you may want to take note of these Holiday Shopping Store Hours.  Worst comes the worst, I suggest defaulting to an ipod shuffle or a Xmas throw blanket.  And if you really want to go with what’s hot, there’s always that satanic irobot Roomba that i blogged about…

Beverly Center:

12/22: 9am-10pm

12/23: 8am-10pm

12/24: 9am-6pm

12/25: Closed

Century City Mall:

12/22: 9am-11pm

12/23: 9am-11pm

12/24: 8am-6pm

12/25: Closed

Glendale Galleria:

12/22: 7am-10pm

12/23: 6am-10pm

12/24: 7am-7pm

12/25: Closed

Old Towne Pasadena:

12/22: 10am-11pm

12/23: 9am-11pm

12/24: 10am-6pm

12/25: Closed

Today marks the last day you can officially become an owner of some of Tori Spelling’s shit.  I remember somewhere in the 2nd season of 90210 she had these incredible disco-esque circle earrings that I thought would make a nice addition to my collection.  But in any case, if you don’t have a particular interest for whorish second-hand items but would just like to see Tori herself, or perhaps find out where she lives, or what she wears, do so today at her official “im desperately broke” sale.

Monday, December 11th 9AM-5PM
11369 Dona Lisa Dr.,
Studio City 91604 
and additional details at:  http://www.estatesaleshop.com/

At first glance it’s a seemingly good investment.  The thing stays home while you are at work or quite possibly out getting obliterated, and sucks between every crack and crevice for incriminating scabs, lint, and crust.  However, once a sense of reality kicks in, didn’t these Roomba fuckers watch iRobot?  It’s probably only a matter of time before these vacuums go ape shit and start jacking credit cards, small animals, and little bolts and screws in attempt to take over the world.  If you purchase this, I would suggest getting the side accessory of a machete.  And if you ask me, any vacuum for that price better come with a damn good vibrator too.

If it’s that time of the year to break from your beau (aka Christmas), please take into considering the following.  In a day and age when we live to create personal “options” in order to foster another new network of “options,” breakups are seemingly in-person optional—true or false?  In an attempt to break down relationship levels with one’s break up obligation, view “The Greatest Form of Attack” guide below:
In Person: 1-2+ year relationship, joint bank account, co-owner of a dog, small section in each other’s closet

Phone: 1 year relationship, several mutual friends, unstable relationship creating possible life altering consequences if the breakup is in person, high jealousy, rage, or pride issues by either side

Aim: several month escapade, most of the time spent together was also spent online, hearing their voice still wierds you out so aim will have to suffice

Email: long distance on-and-off relationship, both have different schedules, both are in different time zones, seldom correspondence other than for emotional dependencies

Text: one nighter or maybe a week long engagement, either person clearly used the other for free drinks or ass or possibly a co-dependent relationship