Remember the guy that made Guitar Hero from legos? Well, someone else is at it with a lego creation that kind of boggles my mind, let alone the world at large. Andrew Lipson, a dude that never got enough attention as a kid, has recreated M.C. Escher’s “Relativity” masterpiece and it came out blocky and bumpy like this. I guess this is pretty cool, other than the fact that this concept tops the charts of reason for virginity. By the time this guy finished this, I could have, I don’t know, caught up on Harry Potter, blogged about it, and got laid by the cast of High School Musical.

Boy am I glad that I just got my hands on a new bad ass iPhone, especially since they now made it better and cheaper by a FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS. I think the CEO’s at Apple just busted one of those reverse psychology mind-f*cks as they pretty much just left a turd sandwich as my brain. The iPod on the other hand has just been announced as, well, better and cheaper also. The new iPod touch will come in 8GB and 16GB, costing $299 and $399, respectively and will be full touch-screen and Wi-Fi enabled. Now let’s all join together as we throw our old generation apple products on to the 405 freeway.

I know this is probably old news, but for those of you who haven’t heard yet, Bridget Moynahan gave birth to Tom Brady’s son last Wednesday. And by the looks of this picture, I’d say it’s about time before that bad boy lights some dynamite and torpedo’s out of that mug. Is this the world’s first post-mature baby? Because by the looks of her bump, the kid is going to come out 30 lbs. with an eight-pack and NO-Xplode infused placenta smeared across his face.

I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, but what else can people come up with in order to make me bulimic? After checking out the body heat-based technology on this bad boy, my Body Mass Index will probably create green tones on about 85% of the chair from my ass alone, leaving the rest sienna brown from its rippling effects. And that’s just when I’m sitting still. And to be honest, I just don’t think this clusterf*ck of colors will match with my Batman décor.Point and Click: Moody!

The second LAX, that really isn’t LAX, has been officially unearthed in Vegas and DJ AM’s new location couldn’t get more, umm interesting! The attendees included the Jenners of the “Hills”, Frankie Delgado, Dave Navarro, Carmen Electra, Brit, KFed, and Shar Jackson. And I don’t know if this at all struck you as weird, but yes the last five people mentioned were ex’s in some way, shape, or form. Partying with baggage in toll must be a new Hollywood/Vegas thing… you know, like recycling and doing drugs in rehab.

I always valued Whisky and Rum as a natural wonder, but thought glass liter bottles of booze weren’t exactly the most personal. Enter the Pocket Shot, or the shot that you basically load up on from your very own kinetic energy inducing thigh pocket. This will be the warmest motherf*ckin alcohol you’ve ever forced down your body, and if you (like me) ever wondered if booze could boil through natural thermal heat, we’re all in for a big surprise. These majestic wonder packs will probably be the greatest things to ever happen to a pocket, I mean, besides last week’s pocket pinball tournament I had with your mom.

In Rome, nutritionists managed to conjure up a “primula” pizza that is made of three times the amount of fiber, and contains significantly more magnesium, whole meal flour, and iron. Each piece also features at least eight vegetables or sauces in the pizza that allegedly create the anti-oxidant effects against ageing: tomatoes, rocket, garlic, courgettes, basil, mushrooms, carrots and spinach. Proclaiming it the “anti-age” pizza, one can only imagine the downpour of Italian geniuses that are hitting up this pizza fest (ie, Pope Benedict XVI). Which is funny because this pizza is really not that cool in any way, shape, or form. Isn’t this the Combo Deluxe? I swear the Italians could create a campaign of McHammer on $5 roller-skates and make him an ordained holy figure.

Just when you thought your driver’s license picture was pimp, check out the photo ID of Janice Dickinson from “America’s Next Top Model”. I swear this thing has been photoshoped and quite possibly airbrushed. Because I certainly wasn’t given these poses at the DMV. One time I took Glamour Shots for 500 bucks that were retouched and they didn’t even hold a note to this. I guess this kind of gives her street credit… on whore-island!

Why is it so easy for the rich to become richer? If I were ballin like Paris Hilton, I would have dropped off the planet a long time ago and joined the cast of Lost on the Hawaiian islands. She recently sold her Hollywood Hills pad for a whopping $4.25 million, after purchasing it for only $2.9 million in 2004. Um, that’s like a healthy profit of over 1 million dollars for 3 years of inhabitance in a mansion. Which is like getting paid to live. Which is like the near bane of my existence… I mean, next to my friend’s blind housekeeper that keeps making late night sexual advances to my left quadricep.

This is what happens when geeks collide. Some dude actually created a fully functional Guitar Hero guitar that is comprised of an array of colored Legos. Wow. As described by the creator himself, “This is a custom guitar controller for the game Guitar Hero, modeled after a Gibson Explorer guitar, with an extra large scratch-plate for style. I gutted the real controller and put the electronic boards in the lego case, so it actually works, too.” Pretty impressive, but 50 bucks says this guy can’t even manage a REAL guitar, let alone a non-inflatable human-being with boobs.