In some completely unrelated news, Owen Wilson and Jessica Simpson are this week’s hot item. Reportedly, the couple was spotted at the Huntley Hotel in our Los Angeles hood looking awfully friendly!! Most of the time I’m pretty good with matching up actors and other uber famous people together, but this one pretty much takes the cake! Hopefully Jess will ease Owen’s suicidal woes!

Nicolas Cage may have to call on HGTV’s Extreme Makeover for his $3.5 million dollar New Orleans haunted house. Located in the French Quarter, the house was built in 1832 for Dr. Louis Lalaurie and his sadistic wife, who allegedly tortured and murdered hundred of slaves in the premises. Several paranormal experiences have been witnessed in the home, such as a decapitated man walking and carrying his head on his arm. And even more freakish – human remains dating back to the 19^th century have been discovered in the property’s floorboards! Apparently “fear” is not one of Cage’s factors!/p>

Since it’s national germophobe week, I thought I would bring to light these iPhone “Phone Fingers” since they protect your phone and hands on so many levels. And aren’t they just the most redundant things you’ve ever seen? I mean, my pinky finger hasn’t moved on its own since 1985. Nor has my French poodle. Hm, that’s weird. Above everything else, the Phone finger prophylactics won’t smudge your screen and come in sizes small, medium, large, and extra large for those with intensive sausage fingers. Score a bag of 25 for about $15, and get out of jail free!

For everyone concerned with crumbs, germies, and other, uh specimens, that get trapped in your keyboard, fret no further. The Silver Seal Keyboard and Mouse were designed specifically for users with intensive germs and viruses that need to wash their belongings on the regular. The equipment comes with silver ions embedded in the plastic to prevent germ buildup and also won’t blow a fuse when you throw them in the dishwasher for some cleansing. If that wasn’t enough, they also open beer bottles and fold Japanese origami!

This Umbrella Water Gun from Alexy Woolley Design is just about as much fun as you can possibly have in the rain. I mean, despite the fact that the whole premise of having a water gun is to get dry people wet and people only use umbrellas when they’re already wet and in the rain. But anyhow, the operation works as the unit collects water at the concave top, which trickles down to the gun and blasts unsuspecting passer-bys. Think about the possibilities if it were raining beer— Hallelujah!

AG Neovo’s X-20AV monitors are so durable, they can even withstand a Saturday morning fight over Friday night’s drunken text messages. To prove the strength of the screens, the company used the NeoV Optical Glass of the monitor as a cutting board to cut and serve sushi off of, which is kind of impressive, but for that type of technology I expect the screen to dissolve the knife and pixel-ate it. Besides being scratch/psycho ex-girlfriend proof, the panels also offer enhanced image quality as well. Which I’m sure no one really cares about because we can throw knives at them for target practice!Point and Click: Killer-proof Neovo

Per TMZ.com, Britney bailed on her dancer auditions for her upcoming tour and music video again. Which would have been news, except the fact that her face looks like Tennessee’s sun beaten finest. I’ve woke up drunk in a crack alley and looked better than this. Is this America’s top popstar or the bi-sexual two-timer on late night Jerry Springer? Only time (or Britney’s next personal assistant) will tell!

The best way to attract upcoming six-figure ballers is to gear yourself with this new top from ThinkGeek. It may not be the tightest or the most revealing, but it will for damn sure get the attention of computer nerds everywhere. And last I heard they were meant to dominate this world, I mean, besides Lindsay Lohan and the everlasting memory of Anna Nicole.

This Wi-Fi detecting shirt finds available WiFi connections and displays signal strength via the lit up blue bars.

Point and Click: Wi-Fi Detector Shirt

I always thought a cougar as a sidekick would be fitting with my personality, but I wouldn’t mind hanging around one of these kitty cats either. The formal nomenclature titles them as “Ashera Cats”, which is french for the world’s most exotic domesticated cat with blended bloodlines from the African Serval, Asian Leopard Cat, and a domestic cat. For $22,000 you can get your hands on your very own mini leopard looking feline… and the even better news is their breed is fully socialized, affectionate, patient, and intelligent. As low maintenance as that busted Calico roaming around your backyard and won’t bite your kid brother’s head off? Priceless! Point and Click: Lifestyle Pets

Nothing really going on today, so I decided to blog about seemingly important issues like Zahara’s new hairdo. Which is basically a baby fro, minus the pick. This is kind of awkward, but did anyone else know Zahara is black? Its like she’s not even Brad and Agenlina’s or something. Science (also see: Lego Guitar Hero ) these days is amazing.