The Daily Stink answers your love/life woes

DS,

Look I’ve been with my boyfriend almost two years .. it bugs me sooo much when he complements other girls … like when he says “oh shes hot .. or oh she was soo fine …” I get sooo pissed! Is this normal… to get mad? I’ve been thinking of breaking up with him for this.. am I overreacting or what?

In a twist,
Soggy Pants
—————————————————-

Soggy Pants –

Two words: Boob-job. Guys always shut up when their girlfriend gets a boob job. Even if they are already big – can’t hurt to get a boob job. It’s new and exciting, and boys like boobs just as much as they like the smell of sizzling bacon, or say, being told the lighting makes them “look more cut”. The bigger your cans are, the more they’ll talk about it with their friends… almost exponentially. I mean, you never hear guys talk about the chick that didn’t get the boob job. Plus, soon your boyfriend won’t even have time to talk about other chicks because his face will be too enthralled in motor boating your torso between half-time. Remember, you’re not investing in silicon… no, no you’re not. You’re investing in two luscious mounds of “shut the f* up”.

Keep your head up,
The DAILY Stink
 

 
Seeking some sound advice? Look NO further! Email your local lord’s prophet at: helpme@frictionent.com
 

Starfishing: When an individual, who is too fatigued to engage in sexual activity themselves, openly spreads out on the bed as a “free for all”.

The term “Starfish” comes from the star-like shape the individual makes when they sprawl out.

“She was full starfishing for me last night.”

Seek some sane advice… email us at: helpme@frictionent.com

L-Bomb - A spontaneous burst of lisp at the completion of a sentence. An advanced way of speech for one whom has a lisp. To achieve the L-bomb, the lispee must talk without a lisp for at least one sentence. The surplus of kinetic energy (sourced from the unused lisp) is stored throughout the sentence and released in a shockwave of lisp by the closing of the statement.

Gary: “Have you ever read that book ’23 Minutes in Hell’”?
Lispee: “No, but I’ll tell you what hell is…That! Ssssssudoku!”.

The Daily Stink answers your love/life woes

Hey DS –
After college my friends all went their separate ways and now I’m stuck hanging out with a bunch of random people that don’t really know me. On top of that, the people I go out with are not reliable and last weekend my “friend” even drove off with my car without telling me. Is there anything I can do?

Over it,
Melissa X

———————————-

Dear Melissa,
Hell yeah there’s something you can do about it. Launch a covert mission against your friends until they get some Act-Right. Nothing serious, but I would strongly suggest mutilation of personal property, friendships, families, or anything else trivial enough to get their attention. Once they realize they’ve been a complete ass, the tables will turn, and you can laugh at their misfortunes like Count Chocula on crack!

Your Friend,
The DS

We’re taking a short hiatus from our bi-weekly “Friction in all the Right… Places” feature, only to fun fill your week with our “Tuesday Tactless Terminology” and “Thursday Therapy” sessions. Stay tuned and be sure to check it out in your Friction Newsletter!

The next time you pop lock and drop it, you may want to load up on a different kind of… pop. Welcome to a true Pop haven, put on this planet for sugar junkies everywhere. With varieties of Pop and other mind boggling liquid beverages, you’ll be in sugar-whore heaven with Jamaican Hot Hot Hot Ginger Beer, Jolt bottles, and the OG Dr. Pepper. The specialty lies in old world candies, sodas, and beer, but rest assure the fun doesn’t stop there (as testified by the Food Network).
 
5702 York Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90042
(323) 255-7115
www.sodapopstop.com