Hollywood Hangup – when a pretentious diva hangs up the phone without any indication. Typical people will end a conversation with closers such as, “see you later”, “good bye”, “talk to you soon”, etc. But as Hollywood movies have taught us, this isn’t necessary.

George: “Did you get the memo I sent you, Rob?”
Asshole: “Yeah, not now.”
(click.)

The Daily Stink answers your love/life woes

Daily Stink –

A friend of mine that I’ve known for years recently started his own business and is doing really well. It’s cool until we go out and he pimps all the girls that admire his success. This drives me absolutely crazy (he used to be such a loser) and I can’t help but feel insecure. What should I do?
 
- Shadowed by the bling

———————————————————–
SBTB-
 

Hey man, don’t be a hater. Maybe you can offer to help out his business and/or leech onto his contacts so you could start something of your own. More importantly, I think you need to take some time to analyze your feelings a bit. Are you insecure because your lack of success or because your friend’s newfound boobie scoring “brownie points”. If you’re just worried about chicks, there are several things you can do:
1.Purchase an English bulldog or rescue a puppy from the Humane Society. Girls eat up anything related to Rob and Big, so if you can teach that dude to skateboard, all the more power to ya.
2.Get a job at a club, bar, or any place that dispenses alcohol. That’s a sure fire way to get some catty bar combers, especially the ones that try to snake free drinks.
3.Get a role in a film. Even if it sucks. Ryan Reynolds is engaged to Scarlett Johansson!
These should put you on an even playing field without having to put in the bullsh*t extra hours. Then you can kick back and laugh at your sucker ass friend – because that’s what friends are for!

Hugs and Kisses,
The Daily Stink

Montezuma’s Revenge - the extreme urge to blow from both ends; namely throwing up out of one’s mouth and bottom. Mainly caused by the presence of amoebas in one’s digestive system from drinking water in or around Mexico.

“In anticipation of some lethal Montezuma’s Revenge, I busted through the Mariachi band and into the closest porta-potty”

Daddy Badge - Baby vomit, snot, or a variation of both that is found around the upper chest or shoulder area of a father, indicating to the world they are a proud parent.

“That bartender was kinda hot, but I swear I spotted a Daddy Badge.”

The Daily Stink answers your love/life woes

Daily Stink, 

This is technicality question more than anything. Is it considered cheating to have phone sex with someone else?

-Max
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Max -

Ahh, great question Maxwell. This is a question I some times sit and ask myself as well. In most cases, I’d have to say no - with just a few exceptions to the rule. First, if it’s an established PS relationship, I think that’s considered one of those gnarly ‘secret lives’ all women fear and it would probably be categorized as dishonesty/cheating… meaning someone’s going to burn in hell. Secondly, if it’s with someone you know and clearly have an interest in, that’s morally wrong since it’s like having sex, but not having sex, and that’s probably cheating as well. Third, if it’s somehow accomplished on a party-line then it’s also cheating - because when your girlfriend is unknowingly on the line too, she’s definitely going to bust your ass for cheating.

Otherwise, I’d argue that phone sex is completely relative to the situation. Especially if you don’t even know the person. In reality, only the lord knows what’s going on at the opposite end (and maybe people that are suspect, like me). And in this day and age, people can really be whacking it at anytime – telemarketers, the Time Warner Cable guy, that Spanish-speaking creepster with the “wrong number” - it’s not your fault you got caught up on the other end.

Another clarity to be made is that phone sex isn’t like regular sex, in a sense that not finishing counts as not doing it at all. There’s really no person to person contact, so the act of doing… is the act of doing!

Good luck buddy!
The DAILY Stink

Don’t know who’s your daddy? Email “Clarity Embodied” for some worldly advice at: helpme@frictionent.com  

Scraper Bike : A relatively new phenomenon from the Bay area (specifically Oakland) in which people modify bicycles to resemble (functionally or aesthetically) the famed “scrapers” of the Hyphy movement. Once a bike is adequately “tricked out”, Scraper Bike owners proceed to go “stupid, dumb, and retarded” on their bikes. Generally, the bikes have nice designs, such as duo paint jobs, rims, or even spinners.

“That party was so ghetto, I almost got hijacked by a Scraper Bike on last year’s dubs!”