Show pony, noun Show·pony –

1. An individual that esteems themself in the public eye and often partakes in activities to be in the “limelight”. Usual activities include (but are not limited to) frequent hair dying, obscene piercings, cosmetic surgery, and outrageous choice in clothing. A show pony intensifies in degree when coupled with random public hookups, in addition to an insanely embellished appearance.

2. One who not only looks better than most people physically, but actually prances around and embodies a better person as a whole.

The Daily Stink answers your love/life woes

Dear Daily Stink –

A friend of mine joined Model Mayhem and since then thinks she’s the sh*t. What’s up with that??!!

-Anally annoyed

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Anally annoyed,
Well let’s take some time to assess the value of this situation. Metaphorically speaking, Model Mayhem is the contemporary host of “Hot Import Nights” for aspiring Import “Models” and the like. In saying this, I suggest that there are a HELL of a lot of unattractive (busted ass) Model-creatures on “Model” Mayhem, that publicly unleash themselves against God’s good will/Mother Nature’s nurture (some things just shouldn’t be). Despite the fact that your friend may very well be “all that and a bag of chips”, kindly remind her that the elephant man himself could have a multi-hit pin-up, and solely being a member of MM likely grants negative bragging rights. Everyone knows that real models don’t need networking faux pas.

I really wish less ugly people would try to be something they’re not. You know, for like the economy and stuff. Martians in space gasped when Harry Potter let loose his wang, let’s not make the same mistake this coming election (completely irrelevant plug here).

<3 The Daily Stink <3

Manscape, noun man·scape –
 1. The visual aesthetic of a man’s body after efforts have been made to remove excess body hair via waxing, shaving, plucking. Also manscap - ing, ed

He was hot, but his manscape was out of control! I could hardly find the thing!

The Daily Stink answers your love/life woes

Daily Stink –
 
Boxers or Whitey Tighties? Metrosexual is in these days and I’m feelin the extra support.
 
-Chuck
 

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Hey Chuck –
 
Both can work towards your favor, with a few open ended stipulations:
1. Your “Whitey Tighties” remain white
2. Your boxers are snug fitting around the cheeks and don’t give off the freshly “unloaded in your pants” vibe
3. Comic book character prints are avoided at all cost
4. Banded Fruit of the Loom and variations related to Jack Black are avoided at all cost
5. Your drawers do not have excessive holes or suggestive changes in color
6. When in doubt, men will fuller/unshapely thighs should opt for boxers

May the force be with you,

THE D-S

Swass, noun sw·ass –
 
1. sweaty ass
2. To excrete perspiration through the pores in the skin; perspire, specially in the ass region
3. To exude in droplets, as moisture from certain parts of body close to bottom area
4.         a. To ferment, as tobacco during curing..
            b. To work long and hard.
            c. To suffer much, as for a misdeed.
 
Ray is the star linebacker for a professional football team in Arizona. Everyday he wakes up early, goes to practice, and then volunteers at an elementary school where he plays with kids all day in the sun. He also likes to eat fried chicken at greasy fast food places that often times do not have air conditioning. Needless to say, when he gets home, he has hardcore swass.