In order to break endorsement records around the world, Jessica Simpson decided to pack some winter weight in hopes of a deal with Nurtisystem. I mean, it only makes sense when coupled with her existing associations with Pizza Hut and Proactive! The commericals will be archived and revealed for the first time during an episode of America’s Biggest Loser, also featuring Jessica Simpson, due to air in late 2009. In reaction to public mockery and wide-spread media attention, sister Ashlee is “outraged”.

body roll, verb –
 
1. The thing your 250 lb. cousin does on the dance floor at weddings.

2. A specific dance move from “Save the Last Dance” where the entire body does a downward wavelike motion, starting at one’s shoulders and ending at your 1999 K-Swiss.

3. An automotive term, used to describe how far a vehicle will pitch over to each side when making wreckless turns.

4. Laymen’s terms for stomach fat. See: Muffin top

“Shanna can shake, I dig her body roll“.

Redonkulous, adjective –
 
1. Of nature that is significantly more ridiculous than “ridiculous”. Beyond normal parameters for which one would consider something to be silly, out of control, or absurd.
2. So batsh*t crazy that saying ridiculous is an absolute understatement.
3. An almost impossible extreme.
4. The 40+ club on facebook.

“Nate’s Mom friend requested you on facebook? Redonkulous!!!”  

Chya, adverb-

1. The surfer-licious way to say “yeah.”
2. Better way of saying “yes” or agreeing with someone when you really mean it.
3. PG-13 way to say “F*ck YEAH!”

“I say we pull an all-nighter and go to the beach!”
 ”CHYA!”

After an uber-short hiatus, we decided to bring the celeb smackin’ gossip column back… exclusively for the guilty pleasure of you & yours. Why? Because how else are you going to expend excess weekday billable hours? And because you love us.
 
This week – “The DAILY Stink”: Sarah Jessica Parker headed for Smushvorce

In an unfortunate turn of events, it looks like SJP is headed for a smushvorce from Matthew Broderick, who was allegedly unfaithful to the star during their Hollywood marriage. Insiders suggest that Parker is finally ready to close the curtain on the marriage, being that they have been leading essentially separate lives throughout their downward spiral of marital un-bliss. Which somewhat surprises me, because I always thought she was engaged to this guy that made furniture in the village. And then that guy that left her at the altar. So much for power couples in 2009… America, F*CK YEAH!