After an uber-short hiatus, we decided to bring the celeb smackin’ gossip column back… exclusively for the guilty pleasure of you & yours. Why? Because how else are you going to expend excess weekday billable hours? And because you love us.
This week – “The DAILY Stink”: Sarah Jessica Parker headed for Smushvorce
In an unfortunate turn of events, it looks like SJP is headed for a smushvorce from Matthew Broderick, who was allegedly unfaithful to the star during their Hollywood marriage. Insiders suggest that Parker is finally ready to close the curtain on the marriage, being that they have been leading essentially separate lives throughout their downward spiral of marital un-bliss. Which somewhat surprises me, because I always thought she was engaged to this guy that made furniture in the village. And then that guy that left her at the altar. So much for power couples in 2009… America, F*CK YEAH!
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January 7th, 2009
After an uber-short hiatus, we decided to bring the celeb smackin’ gossip column back… exclusively for the guilty pleasure of you & yours. Why? Because how else are you going to expend excess weekday billable hours? And because you love us.
This week – “The DAILY Stink”: Paula Abdul’s stalker found dead
The creepster following Paula Abdul around finally met her match –a Tuesday night drug overdose. At least she went down in style, living her last moments inside her car, just yards from Paul Abdul’s home. Which now leaves an immediate opening for Paul Abdul’s biggest stalker since “Cold Hearted Snake”. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a better way to spend my Friday night.
If you’re at all interested in further details, the body has been identified as former American Idol contestant Paul Goodspeed, who apparently became obsessed with Abdul after her appearance on the show in season five.
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November 12th, 2008
Dipped in Butter, adjective –
1. Clean looking from head to toe. Also described as “dipped in sauce”.
2. A person who is super smooth and “flossy-fine”.
3. Bay-area slang made popular by the late Great Mac Drizzle.
“The new girl at school is pretty fly, almost dipped in butter.”
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November 10th, 2008
After an uber-short hiatus, we decided to bring the celeb smackin’ gossip column back… exclusively for the guilty pleasure of you & yours. Why? Because how else are you going to expend excess weekday billable hours? And because you love us.
This week – “The DAILY Stink”: Britney & Justin will be Awkward for Money
If you’re hitting the Madonna “Sticky & Sweet” tour tonight, you may be in for a bigger treat than originally anticipated. Britney Spears and ex Justin Timberlake are rumored to reunite onstage with Madonna, and should provide enough awkward entertainment to send you into a near convulsionary state. It’s kind of like a bad Jerry Springer show that meets the Vegas rendition of American Superstars, only these are the real people with real drama, and no midget. But in any case, if you’re up for that sort of thing, be sure to jump on the bandwagon at LA’s Dodger’s stadium. It’ll be a smashing great time with Bustin (Britney+Justin) and Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” (=win/win!).
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November 6th, 2008
Bonafide, adjective –
1. When someone speaks the truth. Usually by a person that is incapable of telling a lie and is generally trusted by everyone.
2. Your main girl or guy, many times your “main squeeze” out of several others.
3. An attractive individual that can be described as many “bonafide” things (i.e., bone-able or bone-alicious.)
“I want some Bonafide Lovin’!”
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November 3rd, 2008
Up sh*t creek, adjective –
1. To be in a bad situation with no clear solution.
2. To be in an undesirable place, or to be in deep trouble. A contraction of “Up shit creek without a paddle.” It can be made to define even more extreme circumstances by adding the suffix “with the repo men on the shore waiting for the boat”
I knew the situation had turned up sh*t creek when I woke up outside spooning my dog”
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October 27th, 2008
TMI, abbreviation – “Too Much Information”
1. When someone provides way more than you need/want to know. Things that are commonly referred to as “TMI” are details that are often bizarre, sexual, or unnecessary.
Example: John: I have mad chafing on my balls.
Frank: uh, TMI
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October 14th, 2008
After an uber-short hiatus, we decided to bring the celeb smackin’ gossip column back… exclusively for the guilty pleasure of you & yours. Why? Because how else are you going to expend excess weekday billable hours? And because you love us.
This week – “The DAILY Stink”
To fend off rumors of plastic surgery, Kim Kardashian posted this picture of herself at the tender age of 14. Weren’t bikinis illegal at that age? Because they definitely should be. Along with this bodacious photo, Kim proceeded to explain she’s been a C cup since 11 years old. Which is basically the 6th grade. Choice bait for Dateline NBC’s to catch a predator? I think so!
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October 8th, 2008
Douche baggery, verb –
1. The act of being or behaving like a douchebag
2. Senseless embarassing behavior
3. When a persons annoyingness level exceeds normal levels
4. To commit one or all of the following behaviors:
-wearing of flat-billed baseball caps backwards with stickers still on
- using an enormous amount of gel to spike one’s hair in a “faux” hawk
- wearing polo shirts or any other type of shirt with the collar popped
- flashing sideways peace sign gesture
- creating a new ethnic background via too many visits to the tanning salon
- pointing at oneself, holding up beer cans, or making other obscenely immature gestures in solo or group photos
- following trends for the sake of fitting in
- adding “The” or the suffix “-ster” to one’s name, as in “The Rickster”
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October 6th, 2008
FLIRJ, noun –
1. An acronym for “First Lady I’d Rim Job”, made in reference to Hilary Clinton on the 9/13/2008 episode of SNL. Term was made famous by the opening skit of Saturday Night Live where comedian Tina Fey played Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin and Amy Poehler acted as Senator & previous First Lady Hillary Clinton.
Tina Fey as Sarah Palin: “Don’t refer to me as a ‘MILF.’”
Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton: “And don’t refer to me as a ‘FLIRJ.’ I Googled what it stands for and I do not like it.”
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September 22nd, 2008
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